Last night was the party and John and I were Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley (respectively) from Kiss. This was fun for about 2 hours, then I put a paper towel down on my pillow and rested my head and realized how absurd it was that I couldn't just go to sleep. So we locked off the bathroom from the 40 or more guests that were at my house (most of which I had NO IDEA who they were) and took a shower. I still have black spray in my hair and John has the remnants of black around his eyelids making him look very hmmm, alice cooperish?
I found out this afternoon that my friend Jessica's mother passed away 2 nights ago. I want to be in NY so badly right now because I can only imagine how much pain she is feeling. I've talked to Ashley, but I haven't talked to Jess yet. This comes as such a surprise and I still don't know what happened.
This, obviously, has made me think about family moreso than usual today. How unexpected life is and the importance of nurturing your life with good "food"- love, family, appreciation, excitement, and patience. It's very important to me that my mother and father and brother are active in my childrens' lives but I just don't know how to create the ideal situation. I know that moving to NY would solve that, but it would also complicate my own happiness and I know I would have a severe sense of loss by leaving Seattle where I feel I belong. Mom and dad, won't you please move to Seattle? You have a little less than a year to get everything in order :) Then I'll have to start working the west coast golf course perspective on Tim.
Is this selfish? I don't know. I feel like Seattle offers so much more for everyone. I know this feeling of detachment from my family will grow as my hormones spike, and it will be a rather foreign and uncomfortable feeling as I've always felt quite independent. I really don't want to be without my mom and dad in this next chapter of life.
Well, now that I'm pretty solemn and confused from all of that, I guess I'll talk about something more concrete and smile-inducing. I'm officially 7 weeks and 2 days along. Here's what is going on:
How your baby's growing:The big news this week: Hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs — although they look more like paddles at this point than the tiny, pudgy extremities you're daydreaming about holding and tickling. Technically, your baby is still considered an embryo and has something of a small tail, which is an extension of her tailbone. The tail will disappear within a few weeks, but that's the only thing getting smaller. Your baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long, about the size of a blueberry.
If you could see inside your womb, you'd spot eyelid folds partially covering her peepers, which already have some color, as well as the tip of her nose and tiny veins beneath parchment-thin skin. Both hemispheres of your baby's brain are growing, and her liver is churning out red blood cells until her bone marrow forms and takes over this role. She also has an appendix and a pancreas, which will eventually produce the hormone insulin to aid in digestion. A loop in your baby's growing intestines is bulging into her umbilical cord, which now has distinct blood vessels to carry oxygen and nutrients to and from her tiny body.
It's so incredible to me that all of this is going on without any permission from me. It's just happening. Our baby is getting bigger and I'm just hanging out, writing in a blog. I guess it must be taxing because I'm ready to take a nap all the time. In fact, I just woke up from one, but since I gained an hour today I have NO guilt. I do have a ton of work to do by tomorrow and I'm going to funnel all my concentration into it.... I just don't know when that is going to start. :)
As a side note: everyday John becomes more of an incredible partner (more than I could've even requested) and I feel very confident in him as father, provider, and love of my life.
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