My mom asks me everyday if I'm going to update the blog even though I'm sitting next to her able to give her real-time updates on request.
I left Spain and endured the flight with 2 movies (Time Traveler's Wife & Benjamin Button) and finished a book (Thirteen Moons by Charles Frasier) and arrived at JFK huggled John and my mom. We loaded up the van and mom cranked the ignition and it wouldn't start. Quite an ordeal involving a tow truck, rental car, Audrey the dog, Jamaica Queens and lots of money spent.
Now I'm here in my room unsure how to dive into the art of scrapbooking. Yesterday we picked up a shit ton of supplies and I spent an hour looking through photo albums this morning, but I feel like disturbing the peace of these 20 year old+ albums is sacrilegious so I'm still at square one. Even once I find some photos, I know I'm going to be intimidated by all of the little pieces and fitting them together. Hopefully after I have a few under my belt I'll get the hang of it. Let's hope that's not the case with child-rearing.
Speaking of which, I definitely felt myself getting thicker Wednesday & Thursday of last week, which was pretty bizarre. Lately I've been falling asleep at 7:30ish. I know, it's ridiculous. By the time it's 5pm I'm like, Wheeewwwwhh alright, I'm ready to put myself down, then I look at the clock in disbelief and force myself awake for another 2 hours. The flip side is that I've been waking up at the crack of dawn everyday. I've also been fighting a cold, which hasn't been too bad at all and may account for the inability to stay awake.
My intentions up to Friday are that I spend time with Ashley, Gabby, Gina, Jessica, Loren (alphabetical order), and of course Tim, Ma & Pop, eat a lot of peaches because they taste great all the time, and produce something close to a scrapbook. I'm enjoying being here.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
drum set
this is on a slightly different note from Tai's last message, but I just found out that the Duke alumni band is re-forming next wednesday at madison square garden for the semifinals of the Preseason NIT.
I have no idea what plans are going to be surrounding this, and it could be a complete non-starter, or it could be a very interesting event. I sent them a message telling them I'm in town but that I'm extremely non-committal, and I estimate that based on what I know right now, there's a 30% chance that in 7 days I'll be playing drums on espn2.
The last time I did this was in 2004, when Oklahoma played Duke. I remember it feeling very out of the blue when I did it then (like I lived here at the time and afterwards I went back to people I was socializing with in NYC and said "yeah I just played drums for the duke band last night") and they were very much like "huhhhh?". It's funny because I pulled my rugby out of storage (rugby = the blue and white striped shirt the band members wore) like 2 weeks ago and was showing it to Tai, and obviously had no notion of possibly doing anything with it, so it's sitting in Seattle, and if I did end up going to this I'd be borrowing someone else's rugby to wear to the game.
Anyways, there isn't a whole lot more for me to say about it. It was a pretty weird event back in 2004, and it could only be like 10 times more weird doing it in 2009, but there's certainly a possibility of pulling out a video tape for our baby and being like "here's your dad on tv back when you were 3 inches long". That would actually be kindof cool.
(But at the same time, I still think it's 70% likely that I'm not going to do it.)
I have no idea what plans are going to be surrounding this, and it could be a complete non-starter, or it could be a very interesting event. I sent them a message telling them I'm in town but that I'm extremely non-committal, and I estimate that based on what I know right now, there's a 30% chance that in 7 days I'll be playing drums on espn2.
The last time I did this was in 2004, when Oklahoma played Duke. I remember it feeling very out of the blue when I did it then (like I lived here at the time and afterwards I went back to people I was socializing with in NYC and said "yeah I just played drums for the duke band last night") and they were very much like "huhhhh?". It's funny because I pulled my rugby out of storage (rugby = the blue and white striped shirt the band members wore) like 2 weeks ago and was showing it to Tai, and obviously had no notion of possibly doing anything with it, so it's sitting in Seattle, and if I did end up going to this I'd be borrowing someone else's rugby to wear to the game.
Anyways, there isn't a whole lot more for me to say about it. It was a pretty weird event back in 2004, and it could only be like 10 times more weird doing it in 2009, but there's certainly a possibility of pulling out a video tape for our baby and being like "here's your dad on tv back when you were 3 inches long". That would actually be kindof cool.
(But at the same time, I still think it's 70% likely that I'm not going to do it.)
Day 36- Finger
The night before last I woke up with an aching ring finger. I figured that I had slept on it the wrong way and that the pain would subside throughout the day. That is exactly what happened, until I woke up at 5:30am this morning with my hand throbbing as though it was holding my heart. I couldnt even grip the tylenol container to open it with my right hand. Finally I fell back asleep and woke to it throbbing and my right ring finger knuckle in the hand in immense pain.
I've spent the latter part of the day seeking out a splint and finally decided to just improvise with a mini ruler and ace bandage. My finger isn't swollen, numb, discolored or cold. It just hurts bad. I'm ready to come home. I hate to look forward to leaving but I need love and medical attention asap. I.E I need John and Mom (and John's mom)
I've spent the latter part of the day seeking out a splint and finally decided to just improvise with a mini ruler and ace bandage. My finger isn't swollen, numb, discolored or cold. It just hurts bad. I'm ready to come home. I hate to look forward to leaving but I need love and medical attention asap. I.E I need John and Mom (and John's mom)
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Day 35 - Trekking
Fell asleep around 11pm last night, maybe, and woke up at 11am this morning. It felt awesome. I realized that I missed the free breakfast, which was a huge bummer but a nice leisurely wake up was the trade off.
I guess I've yet to mention here that the hotel gets only one satellite channel in English and this channel has the lamest line-up of shows ever constructed. I didn't think that it could happen, but I'm definitely excited when I turn on the TV and Diagnosis Murder is on rather than The New Adventures of Flipper. This morning I finished up an episode of DM, as I affectionately now call it, and traced my walking plan in the newly purchased Madrid City Guide and set off for breakfast. I am definitely swinging into another "high sensitivity" phase wherein smells and thoughts of food make me nauseous immediately. I was looking through the menu of my now favorite madrid eatery "Cafe y te" and I couldn't help but gag at the picture of a bowl of rice and vegetables with a big crawfish or something on top. I mean it looks like it's still alive, just laying there superimposed onto the bland looking spanish dish. Who the hell would look at that and feel compelled to order it? Why not just go for a hike and dig your hand into the first creek and eat whatever you pull up out of the muck? So gross. On the less extreme side, anything with chicken is nasty and anything grilled is equally nasty. Basically the only appetizing thing, that I've had twice now, is the tropical smoothie. I could have 5 of these a day. I can't wait to have another one tomorrow pretty much.
Me ordering is pretty comical too. I think because I am alone I am slightly more likely to attempt using the native language which has been a disgusting salad of english, french and spanish. Yesterday I got a grilled cheese sandwich and I ordered it like this:
"uhhhhh Sandwich queso..... solo queso"
and the girl was like:
"only cheese"
Deflated look, yea.
Then I spent the next 20 minutes thinking about how I could've improved that order and came up with this:
"sandwich con queso, solomente queso por favor"
which is perhaps perfectly correct, and i got excited for making the order today.
Unfortunatly the idea of a grilled cheese sandwich was stomach lurching today.
Ok, enough about food, for now. After lunch I ventured out of the immediate radius of the hotel and walked to the palace and through the gardens. Very beautiful. Then I ended up hanging in the huge church right next to the palace for a good amount of time. I was thinking as I was sitting there very peacefully, that it was very unlike me to enjoy being in a church and decided that it was mostly the beautiful choir music being played through the strategically placed bose speakers that was keeping me entertained. I decided that when john and I aren't broke from life/baby, that strategically placed bose speakers are a must.
Then I walked across the viaduct and down through the little alleys finally ending up in the Plaza Mayor. There was heavy contruction taking place around the center statue which detracted from what I can imagine is a very impressive open space.
From there I walked back to the hotel, watched an episode of DM and put my feet up. Then went back out to check out a store I saw something in the window of earlier but was closed for siesta. Then across the street to a buffet bar where I forced salad into my trap fighting negative thoughts and a rejecting throat. I read my book there for about an hour and here I am, making the lobby of the hotel much more decorative with my presence.
I have to hold my breath everytime I climb the stairs to my room because the landings smell so strongly of human urine.
I guess I've yet to mention here that the hotel gets only one satellite channel in English and this channel has the lamest line-up of shows ever constructed. I didn't think that it could happen, but I'm definitely excited when I turn on the TV and Diagnosis Murder is on rather than The New Adventures of Flipper. This morning I finished up an episode of DM, as I affectionately now call it, and traced my walking plan in the newly purchased Madrid City Guide and set off for breakfast. I am definitely swinging into another "high sensitivity" phase wherein smells and thoughts of food make me nauseous immediately. I was looking through the menu of my now favorite madrid eatery "Cafe y te" and I couldn't help but gag at the picture of a bowl of rice and vegetables with a big crawfish or something on top. I mean it looks like it's still alive, just laying there superimposed onto the bland looking spanish dish. Who the hell would look at that and feel compelled to order it? Why not just go for a hike and dig your hand into the first creek and eat whatever you pull up out of the muck? So gross. On the less extreme side, anything with chicken is nasty and anything grilled is equally nasty. Basically the only appetizing thing, that I've had twice now, is the tropical smoothie. I could have 5 of these a day. I can't wait to have another one tomorrow pretty much.
Me ordering is pretty comical too. I think because I am alone I am slightly more likely to attempt using the native language which has been a disgusting salad of english, french and spanish. Yesterday I got a grilled cheese sandwich and I ordered it like this:
"uhhhhh Sandwich queso..... solo queso"
and the girl was like:
"only cheese"
Deflated look, yea.
Then I spent the next 20 minutes thinking about how I could've improved that order and came up with this:
"sandwich con queso, solomente queso por favor"
which is perhaps perfectly correct, and i got excited for making the order today.
Unfortunatly the idea of a grilled cheese sandwich was stomach lurching today.
Ok, enough about food, for now. After lunch I ventured out of the immediate radius of the hotel and walked to the palace and through the gardens. Very beautiful. Then I ended up hanging in the huge church right next to the palace for a good amount of time. I was thinking as I was sitting there very peacefully, that it was very unlike me to enjoy being in a church and decided that it was mostly the beautiful choir music being played through the strategically placed bose speakers that was keeping me entertained. I decided that when john and I aren't broke from life/baby, that strategically placed bose speakers are a must.
Then I walked across the viaduct and down through the little alleys finally ending up in the Plaza Mayor. There was heavy contruction taking place around the center statue which detracted from what I can imagine is a very impressive open space.
From there I walked back to the hotel, watched an episode of DM and put my feet up. Then went back out to check out a store I saw something in the window of earlier but was closed for siesta. Then across the street to a buffet bar where I forced salad into my trap fighting negative thoughts and a rejecting throat. I read my book there for about an hour and here I am, making the lobby of the hotel much more decorative with my presence.
I have to hold my breath everytime I climb the stairs to my room because the landings smell so strongly of human urine.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Yesterday, posthumously
What a day. I feel like someone took a shit on my head and then told me to celebrate.
First you've got to imagine Morocco. To be culturally insensitive but to incite an easy picture for you, I can say that Morocco is feral. It is a wild cat animal that lives the way it wants to live and tells any kind of external norms/rules to fuck off. Some examples: there is no such thing as a red light, rather every color is Yellow with little caution shown. People walk across the street in full view of oncoming traffic with no hesitation. People, no, men, piss publicly not just on the corner of a building but on the wall of the kasbah. There is no indication that they have gag reflexes as the conflicting aromas of dead animal, burning garbage and smog have no effect on the natives.
That said, my luggage was left in the city of Rabat.
I'm on the bus, headed for Casablanca airport (1.5 hours away) and the bus driver gets a phone call from the guide, Said. Said says: "Tai, you lefta yur luggahje here" "What??" "Yur luggahje is in de lobbay" ..... "Well, what are we going to do about this?"
So Said suggests the bus drop me off at the rest stop it was originally going to stop at for restrooms and I wait there until he arrives with the group that is going to Marrakech (southern Morocco). I was completely dumbfounded by the whole situation- You must understand that I am really REALLY ready to get out of Morocco. I can attribute this mostly to the high stress experienced because it was a work thing that lasted 24 hours for 10 days. Although I will also admit that I'm a sucker for developed countries and all of the luxuries. I definitely peed on my foot in at least 1 squat toilet episode and my scarf fell off my neck onto the urine slick floor in another. On top of all of this, taming my irritability has been INCREDIBLY challenging. I want to tell everyone EXACTLY how it is and I just don't think they are ready for life to be delivered to them in that way.
Anyway, Said hatches this plan with the rest stop and I'm like whatever this sucks. It also sucked for other reasons that I won't get into since John advised me to perhaps censor work-related miseries on this public blog. We get to the rest stop and I'm like, ok Bye everyone I'm staying here (IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE MOROCCO) and as I got off I was thinking, this is retarded. Why the hell am I going to stay here when Said can just bring my bags to the airport. Brilliant. So we call Said and change the plan with the obligatory language barrier issues and I head off to the airport with the rest of the group.
So we get to the airport and Shauna says that she'll stay with me until I have some things figured out. My plan was to try to change my flight to a later one (in case the luggage didn't arrive in time). That's all, just a simple change of flight. Right?
We head over to check in and the girl says, you have to go to the agency booth. "You can't do anything here for me?" No
Go to the agency booth, Hi, My luggage was left at my hotel in Rabat and I don't know if it will make it here in time. I'd like to change my flight (*handing her my passport). She looks up stuff and then hands me back my passport with the very tell-tale look of "I've decided that I am not going to be helpful in any way and I now have a personal vendetta against your success"You have to go to check in, I can't do anything here.
Oh, well, checkin just told me I had to come here.
You have to go to check in and talk to my supervisor
Ok, what is your supervisor's name?
I don't know. She's a girl.
You don't know your supervisor's name?
No.
What is your name?
Lamina.
So I decide to go outside to look for Said and the douchey luggahje and bid Shauna a farewell after not being able to get her cellphone to work to call him.
I sit outside the airport under a palm tree and keep reassuring myself that this is what is happening at the pace that it is happening and there is nothing that I can do about it. Then I stand up, then I sit down again. Then I walk over the the street and sit on a pole, then I walk back into the center of the relatively empty plaza. I mean, seriously- I stand out. Anyone within 300 feet is going to notice me. My hair and stature alone set me apart from the average Moroccan- Said is going to see me but I just can't seem to find the perfect location to be found. I tried to read my book but just kept thinking about not being identified. Finally Said rolls up in his big honkin van and unloads my shit. I wheel myself back into the airport, into the appropriate terminal and up to easyJet checkin
Hello, I'm checking in. here's my passport
Tap tap tap, You aren't listed on this flight to Madrid.
I booked it two days ago.
Do you have the confirmation number?
No.
You have to go to the booth madame.
Well, I was over at the booth before with another problem with my luggage and I don't think that woman really wants to help me.
I will go with you; she has to help you, it is her job.
BIG SIGH OF RELIEF! Then I explained the whole situation to her and it turns out SHE is the nameless supervisor, WHAT LUCK. So we stroll up to the booth and I'm like, YEA BATCH BE SCARED I BROUGHT YOUR SUPERVISOR. So they are looking me up and still not finding me, and she says she needs to have that confirmation number. So i ask her if I can go on the computer to look at my email. They let me and I go to type "http://www.gmail.com/" and it looks like "rrr;aheiv;uxa" Ok, cool. Moroccan keyboard. So checking my email become a much longer task. Finally get the search word right in the text box and find the easyJet confirmation email. Open it up and I'm like, HERE LOOK! and I scroll down and allow to escape a perfect gasp as I notice that the flight is booked for 11/14/2009. Then I show it to them with a look of panic. They proceed to look it up on their shitty terminal, any they are like, It was for yesterday. And I'm like, I know, I just showed you that, duh. What do we do now?
Well ma'am you need to buy another ticket. Ok fine, let's do it. It couldn't be that easy though, you know that right? My bags are going to be an issue. Supervisor lady looks at her watch, hmmm we have 20 minutes, I dont know. What is there to know?!? Let's get this thing rocking in the free world. Run the credit card and take a lot of money from me for luggahje that is too heavy and don't worry about the ass ton of money I spent for the flight yesterday (which I prepaid for the overweight luggahje).
I'd make this story shorter, but I really don't want to spare myself or the reader any moment of this captivating experience.
So, booth lady prints a receipt for 110 dirhams (about $13) for GOD knows what and tells me to go to checkin. I'm now running and sweating like a bison. I get to checkin and talk to supervisor lady. I put my first bag on the scale 8 kilos. Second bag 27 kilos. I'm allow 20 kilos total for both. 15 kilos over. Whatever, I have to take them. Then she looks at my carryon bag. Now before I go forward with this, I need to mention that there have been times when I have REALLY pushed the limit for what should be considered a carryon bag. I've brought bags the size of small sheep onto planes and felt pretty awesome when I wasn't questioned. Today, however, I have what was advertised officially as a "carry-on bag" with wheels. One of those little wheelie guys. Best part is, it's really not even that full! This is so unlike me!! So I'm like, NO WAY I'm going to have a problem with this little guy. One of the other girls on the delegation actually checked in on this flight earlier, I was behind her in line, and she had a gigantic puffy duffle bag and got through no problem. So I'm feeling confident that she's going to let me go especially in light of the 10 minute window I am now facing.
"Can you please place your carry-on in the bin" referring to the cage they use to monitor your carryon. If it doesn't fit, they make you check it. So I lift it up and place it on top and wedge it in a little. It clearly meets the dimension criteria and any onlooker can see the bag is OK GO. I point to it.
"No, it doesn't fit"
Totally incredulous face. "Yes, it does. the handle and neck pillow are preventing it from sliding
down- it fits though"
"Try it then"
So I bend down and wedge it in the cage even more.
"Ok- there it is."
"No, it is still not in"
Now I am absolutely boiling over. I am more angry than I have experienced in a long time. With RAGE, I shove the bag to the bottom of the cage and I yell to her
"OK?!@?"
"Yes, ok"
Now I'm struggling to get it out. I put my purse on the floor and awkwardly lift both the luggage and the DUMB ORANGE CAGE. Then some man gets in the middle of all of this and rolls halfway over my purse. I looked at the situation from the bent down position, looked at at him, shoved his luggage about 3 feet and picked up my purse and finally freed my carry on. I go to the desk (everyone on line is staring at me- I am that crazy woman- THAT one) and I look at the woman and say
YOU KNOW, I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!
That is the first, and hopefully last time I will pull the pregnant card with anyone other than John. As soon as I said it, I started sobbing without control. She was very apologetic, which felt like it was making the feeling bad for myself even worse. She's like, how many weeks? and I'm like 3 MONTHS! (I guess 3 months was more legit than the accurate 2, to me). She was like, I didn't know, I'm sorry madame. I'm still crying and I just want to get the hell out of CASABLANCA AIRPORT. And she's doing stuff on the computer, looks up at me, still crying like a boss, and I blubber:
"I'M REALLY EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW"
So she nods, what other response can you have to that, and tells me to go to the booth, again. ughhhhhhhhhh. So I go to the booth and pay for the whole mess which ends up being an amount I don't even want to think about and go BACK to check in for the ticket. She hands me the ticket and tells me that I'm now classified as "Special assistance" which means I board first. NICE. So I get in line for security check and passport control and of course I don't have my customs form filled out. I have to go to some booth WHICH IS NOT AT ALL SIGNED AS A PLACE YOU HAVE TO GO TO BEFORE GETTING IN LINE, grab one and fill it out as I wait in line again. Molly, Maryel and Nancy show up behind me (other delegates/2 board members) and we all line up for passport control in 2 adjacent lines. Nancy is behind me, and they ask how things are going, and I start CRYING ALL OVER THE PLACE again.
"I'm not usually like this!" sniff wipe get snot all over my jacket sleeve.
They respond with the "ohh it's okay, you are stressed out, the situation is so difficult, blah blah blah"But now I'm back to feeling sorry for myself instead of angry and I can't stop crying. So absurd.
Finally I get through that shit and metal detectors and run up to the gate to see a HUGE LINE and then about 10 adults and children in a shorter line near the letters "SA" and I'm like YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. I cut through the huge line, with a lot of satisfaction and walk down to the plane. At the end they have another carry on hell cage. I'm standing there, again, feeling like I'm in the clear when I notice one of the easyJet staff eyeing my bag (Which honest to god is the same size as EVERYONE else's wheelie carryon) and she stops me as we're boarding and says, Can you please place your bag in the cage. NO, I can't- I did this successfully already in the termi.... "SHE IS OK, let her go, she is ok" THERE IS SUPERVISOR LADY swooping in to save me from another breakdown. Unbelievable!!
So I get on the plane and I'm SO THIRSTY and my body decides that it's not done feeling sorry for itself and I keep crying. I put my headphonea on and wept quietly next to the window until I was interupted by the stewardess which then alerted my fellow passengers that there was a little crying christie sitting next to them. I thought for a minute about all of the ways it would be appropriate for me to be crying on a plane- I just left the love of my life in Casablanca forever, I'm headed to Madrid for my dear granny's funeral, being pregnant was NOT a good excuse. So I just kept on crying and listening to sad music until I accidentally started playing "the cars- I guess you're just what I needed", and I was kindof bopping my head and continued with the whole album.
So fast forward, Madrid airport- totally civilized and I'm feeling REALLY good to be there. I leisurely get my luggage and then stop for some food at the cafeteria style place. After eating and reading a little, I got some money from the ATM and found a shuttle service. Shuttle drops me right to this hotel which is in the middle of everything- SO AWESOME! Front desk, of course, has an awful unwelcoming attitude- DONT CARE. get in my room (super modern and nice) and find out- theres NO INTERNET.
KUESFOASDFNISDKLJFHNADSLKJFHSDNLKFJHDSNFLKJDH
There are a few things that I would like to dwell on before I bid this diary entry adieu. 1) The girl at the original booth looked me up and must not have found my name yet she chose to not mention that to me thus creating a more complicated situation. She was a hater from the get-go. 2) It shouldn't MATTER that I'm pregnant. Why the hell don't people just act with some decency to a fellow human being?????
So now, I'm writing all of this down in notepad to post whenever I post and you read. I needed to have some closure on this day by letting it all hang out. I think I'm going to read and go to sleep early and explore the world tomorrow. Thanks for reading this- hope it made your day just a little bit better.
Update: I'm in the lobby of the hotel where there is free wifi. I did a 15 minute walk around (stopped in a starbucks thinking they would have internet -even if I had to pay- but no, and I was just tempted by all of the wonderful coffee drinks I can't have. Also, they have Christmas decorations up already which is odd but I guess they don't have thanksgiving as the buffer. Anyway, madrid is NOT on the grid system which definitely throws off my internal gps, a usually accurate and reliable mechanism. I still don't know what I'm going to do today, but I'm really relaxed and fine with doing nothing. I do REALLY wish that John or my mom or a close friend were here with me. Boo hoo for me.
First you've got to imagine Morocco. To be culturally insensitive but to incite an easy picture for you, I can say that Morocco is feral. It is a wild cat animal that lives the way it wants to live and tells any kind of external norms/rules to fuck off. Some examples: there is no such thing as a red light, rather every color is Yellow with little caution shown. People walk across the street in full view of oncoming traffic with no hesitation. People, no, men, piss publicly not just on the corner of a building but on the wall of the kasbah. There is no indication that they have gag reflexes as the conflicting aromas of dead animal, burning garbage and smog have no effect on the natives.
That said, my luggage was left in the city of Rabat.
I'm on the bus, headed for Casablanca airport (1.5 hours away) and the bus driver gets a phone call from the guide, Said. Said says: "Tai, you lefta yur luggahje here" "What??" "Yur luggahje is in de lobbay" ..... "Well, what are we going to do about this?"
So Said suggests the bus drop me off at the rest stop it was originally going to stop at for restrooms and I wait there until he arrives with the group that is going to Marrakech (southern Morocco). I was completely dumbfounded by the whole situation- You must understand that I am really REALLY ready to get out of Morocco. I can attribute this mostly to the high stress experienced because it was a work thing that lasted 24 hours for 10 days. Although I will also admit that I'm a sucker for developed countries and all of the luxuries. I definitely peed on my foot in at least 1 squat toilet episode and my scarf fell off my neck onto the urine slick floor in another. On top of all of this, taming my irritability has been INCREDIBLY challenging. I want to tell everyone EXACTLY how it is and I just don't think they are ready for life to be delivered to them in that way.
Anyway, Said hatches this plan with the rest stop and I'm like whatever this sucks. It also sucked for other reasons that I won't get into since John advised me to perhaps censor work-related miseries on this public blog. We get to the rest stop and I'm like, ok Bye everyone I'm staying here (IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE MOROCCO) and as I got off I was thinking, this is retarded. Why the hell am I going to stay here when Said can just bring my bags to the airport. Brilliant. So we call Said and change the plan with the obligatory language barrier issues and I head off to the airport with the rest of the group.
So we get to the airport and Shauna says that she'll stay with me until I have some things figured out. My plan was to try to change my flight to a later one (in case the luggage didn't arrive in time). That's all, just a simple change of flight. Right?
We head over to check in and the girl says, you have to go to the agency booth. "You can't do anything here for me?" No
Go to the agency booth, Hi, My luggage was left at my hotel in Rabat and I don't know if it will make it here in time. I'd like to change my flight (*handing her my passport). She looks up stuff and then hands me back my passport with the very tell-tale look of "I've decided that I am not going to be helpful in any way and I now have a personal vendetta against your success"You have to go to check in, I can't do anything here.
Oh, well, checkin just told me I had to come here.
You have to go to check in and talk to my supervisor
Ok, what is your supervisor's name?
I don't know. She's a girl.
You don't know your supervisor's name?
No.
What is your name?
Lamina.
So I decide to go outside to look for Said and the douchey luggahje and bid Shauna a farewell after not being able to get her cellphone to work to call him.
I sit outside the airport under a palm tree and keep reassuring myself that this is what is happening at the pace that it is happening and there is nothing that I can do about it. Then I stand up, then I sit down again. Then I walk over the the street and sit on a pole, then I walk back into the center of the relatively empty plaza. I mean, seriously- I stand out. Anyone within 300 feet is going to notice me. My hair and stature alone set me apart from the average Moroccan- Said is going to see me but I just can't seem to find the perfect location to be found. I tried to read my book but just kept thinking about not being identified. Finally Said rolls up in his big honkin van and unloads my shit. I wheel myself back into the airport, into the appropriate terminal and up to easyJet checkin
Hello, I'm checking in. here's my passport
Tap tap tap, You aren't listed on this flight to Madrid.
I booked it two days ago.
Do you have the confirmation number?
No.
You have to go to the booth madame.
Well, I was over at the booth before with another problem with my luggage and I don't think that woman really wants to help me.
I will go with you; she has to help you, it is her job.
BIG SIGH OF RELIEF! Then I explained the whole situation to her and it turns out SHE is the nameless supervisor, WHAT LUCK. So we stroll up to the booth and I'm like, YEA BATCH BE SCARED I BROUGHT YOUR SUPERVISOR. So they are looking me up and still not finding me, and she says she needs to have that confirmation number. So i ask her if I can go on the computer to look at my email. They let me and I go to type "http://www.gmail.com/" and it looks like "rrr;aheiv;uxa" Ok, cool. Moroccan keyboard. So checking my email become a much longer task. Finally get the search word right in the text box and find the easyJet confirmation email. Open it up and I'm like, HERE LOOK! and I scroll down and allow to escape a perfect gasp as I notice that the flight is booked for 11/14/2009. Then I show it to them with a look of panic. They proceed to look it up on their shitty terminal, any they are like, It was for yesterday. And I'm like, I know, I just showed you that, duh. What do we do now?
Well ma'am you need to buy another ticket. Ok fine, let's do it. It couldn't be that easy though, you know that right? My bags are going to be an issue. Supervisor lady looks at her watch, hmmm we have 20 minutes, I dont know. What is there to know?!? Let's get this thing rocking in the free world. Run the credit card and take a lot of money from me for luggahje that is too heavy and don't worry about the ass ton of money I spent for the flight yesterday (which I prepaid for the overweight luggahje).
I'd make this story shorter, but I really don't want to spare myself or the reader any moment of this captivating experience.
So, booth lady prints a receipt for 110 dirhams (about $13) for GOD knows what and tells me to go to checkin. I'm now running and sweating like a bison. I get to checkin and talk to supervisor lady. I put my first bag on the scale 8 kilos. Second bag 27 kilos. I'm allow 20 kilos total for both. 15 kilos over. Whatever, I have to take them. Then she looks at my carryon bag. Now before I go forward with this, I need to mention that there have been times when I have REALLY pushed the limit for what should be considered a carryon bag. I've brought bags the size of small sheep onto planes and felt pretty awesome when I wasn't questioned. Today, however, I have what was advertised officially as a "carry-on bag" with wheels. One of those little wheelie guys. Best part is, it's really not even that full! This is so unlike me!! So I'm like, NO WAY I'm going to have a problem with this little guy. One of the other girls on the delegation actually checked in on this flight earlier, I was behind her in line, and she had a gigantic puffy duffle bag and got through no problem. So I'm feeling confident that she's going to let me go especially in light of the 10 minute window I am now facing.
"Can you please place your carry-on in the bin" referring to the cage they use to monitor your carryon. If it doesn't fit, they make you check it. So I lift it up and place it on top and wedge it in a little. It clearly meets the dimension criteria and any onlooker can see the bag is OK GO. I point to it.
"No, it doesn't fit"
Totally incredulous face. "Yes, it does. the handle and neck pillow are preventing it from sliding
down- it fits though"
"Try it then"
So I bend down and wedge it in the cage even more.
"Ok- there it is."
"No, it is still not in"
Now I am absolutely boiling over. I am more angry than I have experienced in a long time. With RAGE, I shove the bag to the bottom of the cage and I yell to her
"OK?!@?"
"Yes, ok"
Now I'm struggling to get it out. I put my purse on the floor and awkwardly lift both the luggage and the DUMB ORANGE CAGE. Then some man gets in the middle of all of this and rolls halfway over my purse. I looked at the situation from the bent down position, looked at at him, shoved his luggage about 3 feet and picked up my purse and finally freed my carry on. I go to the desk (everyone on line is staring at me- I am that crazy woman- THAT one) and I look at the woman and say
YOU KNOW, I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!
That is the first, and hopefully last time I will pull the pregnant card with anyone other than John. As soon as I said it, I started sobbing without control. She was very apologetic, which felt like it was making the feeling bad for myself even worse. She's like, how many weeks? and I'm like 3 MONTHS! (I guess 3 months was more legit than the accurate 2, to me). She was like, I didn't know, I'm sorry madame. I'm still crying and I just want to get the hell out of CASABLANCA AIRPORT. And she's doing stuff on the computer, looks up at me, still crying like a boss, and I blubber:
"I'M REALLY EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW"
So she nods, what other response can you have to that, and tells me to go to the booth, again. ughhhhhhhhhh. So I go to the booth and pay for the whole mess which ends up being an amount I don't even want to think about and go BACK to check in for the ticket. She hands me the ticket and tells me that I'm now classified as "Special assistance" which means I board first. NICE. So I get in line for security check and passport control and of course I don't have my customs form filled out. I have to go to some booth WHICH IS NOT AT ALL SIGNED AS A PLACE YOU HAVE TO GO TO BEFORE GETTING IN LINE, grab one and fill it out as I wait in line again. Molly, Maryel and Nancy show up behind me (other delegates/2 board members) and we all line up for passport control in 2 adjacent lines. Nancy is behind me, and they ask how things are going, and I start CRYING ALL OVER THE PLACE again.
"I'm not usually like this!" sniff wipe get snot all over my jacket sleeve.
They respond with the "ohh it's okay, you are stressed out, the situation is so difficult, blah blah blah"But now I'm back to feeling sorry for myself instead of angry and I can't stop crying. So absurd.
Finally I get through that shit and metal detectors and run up to the gate to see a HUGE LINE and then about 10 adults and children in a shorter line near the letters "SA" and I'm like YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. I cut through the huge line, with a lot of satisfaction and walk down to the plane. At the end they have another carry on hell cage. I'm standing there, again, feeling like I'm in the clear when I notice one of the easyJet staff eyeing my bag (Which honest to god is the same size as EVERYONE else's wheelie carryon) and she stops me as we're boarding and says, Can you please place your bag in the cage. NO, I can't- I did this successfully already in the termi.... "SHE IS OK, let her go, she is ok" THERE IS SUPERVISOR LADY swooping in to save me from another breakdown. Unbelievable!!
So I get on the plane and I'm SO THIRSTY and my body decides that it's not done feeling sorry for itself and I keep crying. I put my headphonea on and wept quietly next to the window until I was interupted by the stewardess which then alerted my fellow passengers that there was a little crying christie sitting next to them. I thought for a minute about all of the ways it would be appropriate for me to be crying on a plane- I just left the love of my life in Casablanca forever, I'm headed to Madrid for my dear granny's funeral, being pregnant was NOT a good excuse. So I just kept on crying and listening to sad music until I accidentally started playing "the cars- I guess you're just what I needed", and I was kindof bopping my head and continued with the whole album.
So fast forward, Madrid airport- totally civilized and I'm feeling REALLY good to be there. I leisurely get my luggage and then stop for some food at the cafeteria style place. After eating and reading a little, I got some money from the ATM and found a shuttle service. Shuttle drops me right to this hotel which is in the middle of everything- SO AWESOME! Front desk, of course, has an awful unwelcoming attitude- DONT CARE. get in my room (super modern and nice) and find out- theres NO INTERNET.
KUESFOASDFNISDKLJFHNADSLKJFHSDNLKFJHDSNFLKJDH
There are a few things that I would like to dwell on before I bid this diary entry adieu. 1) The girl at the original booth looked me up and must not have found my name yet she chose to not mention that to me thus creating a more complicated situation. She was a hater from the get-go. 2) It shouldn't MATTER that I'm pregnant. Why the hell don't people just act with some decency to a fellow human being?????
So now, I'm writing all of this down in notepad to post whenever I post and you read. I needed to have some closure on this day by letting it all hang out. I think I'm going to read and go to sleep early and explore the world tomorrow. Thanks for reading this- hope it made your day just a little bit better.
Update: I'm in the lobby of the hotel where there is free wifi. I did a 15 minute walk around (stopped in a starbucks thinking they would have internet -even if I had to pay- but no, and I was just tempted by all of the wonderful coffee drinks I can't have. Also, they have Christmas decorations up already which is odd but I guess they don't have thanksgiving as the buffer. Anyway, madrid is NOT on the grid system which definitely throws off my internal gps, a usually accurate and reliable mechanism. I still don't know what I'm going to do today, but I'm really relaxed and fine with doing nothing. I do REALLY wish that John or my mom or a close friend were here with me. Boo hoo for me.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Day 33- Ole!
I will be headed to the Casablanca airport shortly to catch a flight to Madrid, where I will relax day in and day out without anyone telling me that I need to dress professionally for a parliament meeting or that I need to hustle to a coach bus leaving in -3 minutes.
I haven't checked my work email in about 3 days and it really feels great. I feel like there really just isn't anything too pressing right now that would require me to look at it (MOROCCO IS OVER!!!).
I really miss John a lot. I'm also missing readily available bottles of milk.
Ok, I've just plotted out my game plan for the next few hours. I'll be staying here:
http://www.hotelfrancisco.com/
and attempting to use public transportation to get there. AYE PAPI
I haven't checked my work email in about 3 days and it really feels great. I feel like there really just isn't anything too pressing right now that would require me to look at it (MOROCCO IS OVER!!!).
I really miss John a lot. I'm also missing readily available bottles of milk.
Ok, I've just plotted out my game plan for the next few hours. I'll be staying here:
http://www.hotelfrancisco.com/
and attempting to use public transportation to get there. AYE PAPI
Friday, November 13, 2009
think or sleep
Monday or Tuesday night I came back from working and tried to go to sleep. I swear I had to have been in bed for like 2 hours before I eventually drifted off. That night I probably only got 3 or 4 hours of sleep before I had to get back up and get on the train into the city.
The last two nights I've been like "there is no freaking way I let that happen again" so I've set the alarm on my iphone, and then I've used its ipod capabilities to play 1 album (but not continue through a thousand song playlist) so that for most of the night there will be silence and my alarm will still be appropriately startling to wake me up.
What I've noticed is that with the music on I typically only make it through 1 or 2 songs and then I'm out like a light. So right off the bat I would make the argument for music / a lullabye to put me to sleep. I have a feeling this works in general during the day as well.
But when I really deeper into it, I think "is the reason I'm going to sleep because I'm replacing my thoughts with the music? my brain knows it doesn't have to think up its own soundtrack -- there's one already playing?"
This concerns me a little bit. When I think about growing up I think about several formative nights where I stayed awake for hours, in bed, or more usually on the couch, just thinking about shit, creating my opinions, etc. I don't remember lullabyes or using a device to put me to sleep ... pretty much ever. I also notice that it seems like 90% of people in the office work with headphones on -- I think Tai typically does as well when we're at home.
I wonder two things: can I thank the lack of a soundtrack for part of my accelerated development and thinking capacity? Obviously there's the study that says people perform better mentally after listening to Mozart (it's not clear if the effects are permanent or temporary), and I'm sure that listening to music develops your brain to a certain extent, but I really wonder also if it stunts your ability to think for yourself. The second thing I wonder is going the opposite direction -- does thinking instead of going to sleep impact my performance the next day? If we had conclusive results that turned my theory here into scientific fact, what would we actually want to do in raising the baby? Would you want to instill a sense of "going to school tomorrow is important -- you should take it seriously -- you should take going to your job seriously after you've grown up" vs increasing the brain's capacity and potentially limiting the ability to focus on responsibilities....
anyways, I dunno -- I'm always trying to formulate a theory and project it onto my life ... but even if I was right here about my theory I don't know what the answer is
The last two nights I've been like "there is no freaking way I let that happen again" so I've set the alarm on my iphone, and then I've used its ipod capabilities to play 1 album (but not continue through a thousand song playlist) so that for most of the night there will be silence and my alarm will still be appropriately startling to wake me up.
What I've noticed is that with the music on I typically only make it through 1 or 2 songs and then I'm out like a light. So right off the bat I would make the argument for music / a lullabye to put me to sleep. I have a feeling this works in general during the day as well.
But when I really deeper into it, I think "is the reason I'm going to sleep because I'm replacing my thoughts with the music? my brain knows it doesn't have to think up its own soundtrack -- there's one already playing?"
This concerns me a little bit. When I think about growing up I think about several formative nights where I stayed awake for hours, in bed, or more usually on the couch, just thinking about shit, creating my opinions, etc. I don't remember lullabyes or using a device to put me to sleep ... pretty much ever. I also notice that it seems like 90% of people in the office work with headphones on -- I think Tai typically does as well when we're at home.
I wonder two things: can I thank the lack of a soundtrack for part of my accelerated development and thinking capacity? Obviously there's the study that says people perform better mentally after listening to Mozart (it's not clear if the effects are permanent or temporary), and I'm sure that listening to music develops your brain to a certain extent, but I really wonder also if it stunts your ability to think for yourself. The second thing I wonder is going the opposite direction -- does thinking instead of going to sleep impact my performance the next day? If we had conclusive results that turned my theory here into scientific fact, what would we actually want to do in raising the baby? Would you want to instill a sense of "going to school tomorrow is important -- you should take it seriously -- you should take going to your job seriously after you've grown up" vs increasing the brain's capacity and potentially limiting the ability to focus on responsibilities....
anyways, I dunno -- I'm always trying to formulate a theory and project it onto my life ... but even if I was right here about my theory I don't know what the answer is
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Day 30 almost 31 - Give me 2 gallons of milk, thanks
All I want to drink is milk all of the time.
I've arrived in Fes and felt really tired and sick this morning. After our morning session, which lasted a lot longer than we had hoped I taxied back to the hotel to relax the rest of the day. I'm really glad I did this. Really, really glad.
Tomorrow I go to the weaving co-op where I'll be able to buy stuff at the source and get it shipped home!
Right now, I'm thinking that in a few hours I'll be at the 9 weeks mark and just a few days past the last image on this chart (63 days)
Amazing, no?
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
city year!
very short post here -- i just got into work
I got to penn station 15-20 minutes ago (on my god we killed like 4 trees and one plastic tree with the amount of paper they used to wrap up my omelet and cup of watermelon) and i accidentally got out on 34th and 8th instead of 33th and 7th so my patience wore down quickly and i got a cab (the last 2 days i walked to union square).
Anyways the cab driver was taking me over on 22nd between 6th and 5th and I looked over and saw two people in City Year jackets! (think josh and ronda if you need a visual) I knew that they weren't just in seattle but I wasn't aware of its existence until I got there, so if I ever saw the jackets before that in a different city I wouldn't have noticed.
That's all -- it just made me happy :)
I got to penn station 15-20 minutes ago (on my god we killed like 4 trees and one plastic tree with the amount of paper they used to wrap up my omelet and cup of watermelon) and i accidentally got out on 34th and 8th instead of 33th and 7th so my patience wore down quickly and i got a cab (the last 2 days i walked to union square).
Anyways the cab driver was taking me over on 22nd between 6th and 5th and I looked over and saw two people in City Year jackets! (think josh and ronda if you need a visual) I knew that they weren't just in seattle but I wasn't aware of its existence until I got there, so if I ever saw the jackets before that in a different city I wouldn't have noticed.
That's all -- it just made me happy :)
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Still Day 28- Prisms
Oh my god I just got done typing this really upbeat post and I pressed something and it disappeared- wiped out- gone. UGHHH I'll try to rewrite.
As they say, there is a light at the end of every tunnel (and it's not always new jersey). I just got done with the day-long symposium and finally met the woman who exchanged audacious emails with me, ultimately requiring that we reprint our invitations because we got her title incorrect (we called her a feminist- WHOOPS!). Anyway, it turns out that she delivered an incredible talk and created quite an atmosphere for the closing session. It was more than perfect. To give you a taste of the inspiration, she opened up with this:
"Pessimism is routine. Optimism is creativity." It's warm soup all over my mid-20s soul.
Afterwards, I was feeling the effects of a much-needed upswing and felt comfortable socializing the shmoozing with randoms at the US Embassy reception. After about an hour, my feet were screaming so I sat down and pulled out my video camera and started watching the 2 videos I took before I left for Morocco. They were both of John staring and smiling into the camera. I was probably saying something to him, but during playback I had it muted. It was wonderful! I watched it over and over and it was kindof like a mini-john was right there with me doing what he does best- maintain cuteness.
I'm going to hop in bed now- tomorrow we get out of Rabat as I mentioned already and the big hump day, so to speak, is now behind me. It's all a piece of cake from here. mmm Moroccan pastries are bomb dot com. Finally, prisms- theres a rainbow after every storm if you just look for it. Maybe my pregnant glasses just got dyed rose-colored?
As they say, there is a light at the end of every tunnel (and it's not always new jersey). I just got done with the day-long symposium and finally met the woman who exchanged audacious emails with me, ultimately requiring that we reprint our invitations because we got her title incorrect (we called her a feminist- WHOOPS!). Anyway, it turns out that she delivered an incredible talk and created quite an atmosphere for the closing session. It was more than perfect. To give you a taste of the inspiration, she opened up with this:
"Pessimism is routine. Optimism is creativity." It's warm soup all over my mid-20s soul.
Afterwards, I was feeling the effects of a much-needed upswing and felt comfortable socializing the shmoozing with randoms at the US Embassy reception. After about an hour, my feet were screaming so I sat down and pulled out my video camera and started watching the 2 videos I took before I left for Morocco. They were both of John staring and smiling into the camera. I was probably saying something to him, but during playback I had it muted. It was wonderful! I watched it over and over and it was kindof like a mini-john was right there with me doing what he does best- maintain cuteness.
I'm going to hop in bed now- tomorrow we get out of Rabat as I mentioned already and the big hump day, so to speak, is now behind me. It's all a piece of cake from here. mmm Moroccan pastries are bomb dot com. Finally, prisms- theres a rainbow after every storm if you just look for it. Maybe my pregnant glasses just got dyed rose-colored?
new york fuckin city
I debated the appropriateness of this title for 1 second before deciding "whatever, it's written on the shirt we're gonna ask grandpa to wear when the baby is born -- it's appropriate"
I just blew through the most innocuous $100 I think in history. Yesterday after I got paid, I took 400 out and deposited back 300. So I'm walking around with 20s. I wanted a small snack before last night's steak dinner, so I went to the deli "Toasties" in union square and got a muscle milk, a piece of salmon with mac&cheese, some doritos, and a banana. That broke my first $20 down to loose change. Certainly more than I intended from a pre-meal "snack".
Dinner was paid for by the richest person at the table, and I'm pretty sure I was the poorest, so I got out of a 70 or 80 dollar tab, which is why i still can't believe the money is gone.
Then I took a short cab ride to penn station the broke the second $20, got a peak/off peak ticket to and from long island that wiped out the 3rd one and because it was 1:30 am when I got back, I took a 5 dollar cab ride back to the house which seemed like a good tradeoff for the extra hour of sleep. So now I probably had two 20s left and a bunch of ones. So we're down to about 50 bucks.
This morning I get a free ride to the train, and I use the return leg of my ticket, and then I walk down from penn station to union square. So far so good. I take the elevator upstairs, swipe my card to get inside, and ... i'm locked out. Probably the first one to get to work. It's 8:20 am, people are supposed to get in at 9, I have to kill a half hour.
so I walk next door to the "coffee" bar, get an iced tea and .... lowkey, lowkey ... bowl of oatmeal. Price check on a bowl of oatmeal? 9 dollars. OOPS. 9 dollars for a bowl of oatmeal? What's in it. Hmm, oatmeal, brown sugar, raisins, banada slices. 9 dollars. New York Fuckin City. And then I got charged for my refill on the iced tea. Erase another 20 please.
Just now I went to mail my rent check out and on the way back, eh, I'll grab a muscle milk and a banana. 6 bucks. That uses up all the ones in my wallet. So now I have ... 20 dollars? 20? I took out a hundred yesterday afternoon?
For the record, 80 dollars a day is $29,200 a year. I don't know how taxes work, but you probably have to make about $40k in pretax income (I'm guessing) to afford the luxuries I indulged in, the train ride to the city, the banana, the oatmeal, the double iced tea, the free lodging, the free dinner, the festering deli salmon, the 1:30 am cab ride -- I mean, obviously I'm being facetious and just as obviously there are places I could have trimmed costs, but still ... THAT was an 80 dollar day?
NYFC
I just blew through the most innocuous $100 I think in history. Yesterday after I got paid, I took 400 out and deposited back 300. So I'm walking around with 20s. I wanted a small snack before last night's steak dinner, so I went to the deli "Toasties" in union square and got a muscle milk, a piece of salmon with mac&cheese, some doritos, and a banana. That broke my first $20 down to loose change. Certainly more than I intended from a pre-meal "snack".
Dinner was paid for by the richest person at the table, and I'm pretty sure I was the poorest, so I got out of a 70 or 80 dollar tab, which is why i still can't believe the money is gone.
Then I took a short cab ride to penn station the broke the second $20, got a peak/off peak ticket to and from long island that wiped out the 3rd one and because it was 1:30 am when I got back, I took a 5 dollar cab ride back to the house which seemed like a good tradeoff for the extra hour of sleep. So now I probably had two 20s left and a bunch of ones. So we're down to about 50 bucks.
This morning I get a free ride to the train, and I use the return leg of my ticket, and then I walk down from penn station to union square. So far so good. I take the elevator upstairs, swipe my card to get inside, and ... i'm locked out. Probably the first one to get to work. It's 8:20 am, people are supposed to get in at 9, I have to kill a half hour.
so I walk next door to the "coffee" bar, get an iced tea and .... lowkey, lowkey ... bowl of oatmeal. Price check on a bowl of oatmeal? 9 dollars. OOPS. 9 dollars for a bowl of oatmeal? What's in it. Hmm, oatmeal, brown sugar, raisins, banada slices. 9 dollars. New York Fuckin City. And then I got charged for my refill on the iced tea. Erase another 20 please.
Just now I went to mail my rent check out and on the way back, eh, I'll grab a muscle milk and a banana. 6 bucks. That uses up all the ones in my wallet. So now I have ... 20 dollars? 20? I took out a hundred yesterday afternoon?
For the record, 80 dollars a day is $29,200 a year. I don't know how taxes work, but you probably have to make about $40k in pretax income (I'm guessing) to afford the luxuries I indulged in, the train ride to the city, the banana, the oatmeal, the double iced tea, the free lodging, the free dinner, the festering deli salmon, the 1:30 am cab ride -- I mean, obviously I'm being facetious and just as obviously there are places I could have trimmed costs, but still ... THAT was an 80 dollar day?
NYFC
Sunday, November 8, 2009
oh no
Tai sent me this on Friday and I just had a chance to read it.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8346058.stm
This means I'm gonna have the cutest crying baby ever :(
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8346058.stm
This means I'm gonna have the cutest crying baby ever :(
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Day 25- Goodbye Casablanca, Hello Rabat
Today has been pretty calm despite the fact that I am IN MOROCCO! Right now I am sitting at a desk at the Sofitel Diwan, a very fine hotel with the terrace door open and cool air flowing in. Outside are all white buildings, millions of satellite dishes, 2 tall palms and a ficus (behind the ficus is an in-ground swimming pool which looks SO AMAZING that I want to swan dive into it (i.e. cannonball). The room smells of spices and what I can only assume to be cedar since all the furniture is this wood.
I just got off the bus from a laid-back transfer from Casablanca to Rabat. I woke up early in the morning for delicious breakfast at the Hyatt and then took a taxi back to the airport to seek out the missing box compliments of Alitalia airlines. Found the box and made it back to the hotel in time for the tour of the Mosque Hassan II.
So incredible- capacity is 85,000 in and out, so just imagine how grand it is. The tile work is what wooed me the most, amazing colors in intricate geometric designs.
I just got off the bus from a laid-back transfer from Casablanca to Rabat. I woke up early in the morning for delicious breakfast at the Hyatt and then took a taxi back to the airport to seek out the missing box compliments of Alitalia airlines. Found the box and made it back to the hotel in time for the tour of the Mosque Hassan II.
So incredible- capacity is 85,000 in and out, so just imagine how grand it is. The tile work is what wooed me the most, amazing colors in intricate geometric designs.
I'm feeling just fine, eating snacks when hungry and not feeling the least bit nauseated (even though there are quite a few disagreeable aromas). I'm going to get some lunch and take a walk with a group to the medina (the old quarter of town, where, hopefully, there is a souk that I can BUY STUFF at).
PS: I've heard from my fans (i.e. mom) that you can't comment- well, I fixed that. You should be able to comment now. Let me know by commenting. THX
Thursday, November 5, 2009
security
me: well tai is through international security and i am not
There it is in a nutshell. The long-winded version (that's my disclaimer) is what follows. I am on my way to New York to stay with Tai's parents for 2 weeks waiting for Tai to come back from Morocco. In the meantime I should be going in for hopefully 10-12 hour days at the office where my checks come from. If that's how it works out it will be a substantial improvement from the hours I've been clocking the past couple months.
So I looked up Tai's flight a few nights ago (at first I thought she was leaving the country out of JFK, but it turned out she had United to Chicago before she was heading off to Rome, then Casablanca). I used to make it a point to stop through Chicago whenever I had a chance on a cross-country trip and catch up with a friend that I used to trade with. Last time I had a chance to do that was two summers ago, when I was still trying to figure out where I was going to work if I was moving to Boston (and Tai was getting ready to move to Seattle and start CY, for historical reference although I didn't know it at the time). So it's been a while. I figured "well ... one-way flights to New York are pretty cheap. One-way flights to Chicago are a little unreasonable, but if you get there it's only $69 on Jetblue to go the rest of the way". Then I sat on it, and the next day one-way flights to New York had gone up $200. Oops. Meanwhile, I noticed that if I booked an itinerary from Seattle, to Denver, to Chicago, to Milwaukee, I'd land in Chicago right smack in the middle of Tai's 4 hour layover, and it would be 200 dollars cheaper than booking a flight to Chicago. Yes, airlines are jackasses (for making this sort of thing a reality).
So I sat on that knowledge for 2 days, and last night Tai laid down at 1 am and I still didn't know if I was going to fly out at the same time as her or if I'd follow up several hours later. I also had a completely packed suitcase which would screw the whole plan up because you can't blow off the 3rd leg of your itinerary if your checked bag goes on to Milwaukee. Around 2:30 (her alarm was set to 3) I woke up from a light nap and thought, well, let's see if anything happened to fares in the last couple hours. The answer? Yes. Flights to New York had gotten more expensive. I should say "they came back down for a brief spell yesterday because US Airways is opportunistic, but by 2:30 am this morning, nearly all options had been limited to bad options." So I said well, let's just see how it goes if I unpack that suitcase into a bunch of carry-on sized bags.
By 3:10, Tai had hit her snooze alarm once and I had unloaded this large overpacked suitcase into a backpack, my gym bag, and my computer bag. I still don't understand the geometry of how that was possible. (ok I just took 30 minutes away from writing this and now there's a guy standing nearby who looks like George Lucas with a better pornstache) So once I realized it was possible to actually get on a plane, I broached the topic with Tai of not having booked anything, but maybe we could book something right now. She was not overly happy with my timing and surprise factor, but as the cab pulled up to take her to the airport, I hit submit twice and acquired a ticket for today to Seattle->Denver->Chicago->Milwaukee and tomorrow for Chicago->JFK.
So then we got to the airport, and she had to take her large box of rocks out of her suitcase to get it from 61 pounds down to 43 pounds. (very impressive rocks, if it was the same box we picked up yesterday) I thought about trying to crawl into the empty space left by the box and stow away to Morocco but that would have brought it back up to 290 pounds so we didn't. The person at the gate didn't say anything definitive about whether or not I could switch onto Tai's flight, so we went up through security and to the gates, and the guy seating passengers to Denver was like 'oh certainly -- heck you'll be doing us a favor, we overbooked by 10'. I didn't point out that 45 minutes earlier they had only been overbooked by 9 and that I had just finishing doing them an inconvenience, just nodded and said "oh yeah I love doing favors" and like that, I was on Tai's flight! Bear in mind, the going rate for a ticket on her flight was about 500 dollars and my 3-legged itinerary went for about 190. Love it.
So we got on the plane got seated together (another last minute win) and she put her little neck pillow in between our heads so that we could lean into each other and both rest on it while simultaneously supporting it, and I was honestly (honestly!) thinking "this is so perfect and completely romantic". It is NOT easy to get a comfortable sleeping position for you and a partner on a plane, and I think we pulled it off for a good hour or so before it was necessary to change positions.
Anyways, next thing we knew the plane was landing and I told Tai "the next time you do this you'll be landing in Rome" and she said "When in Rome...". *I said "Yes? Go on?" and she looked at me funny before explaining it's a common expression. I still don't quite understand what it means.
(everything after * is made-up/plagiarized, everything before it really happened)
Ok -- another 20 minute lapse there and bizarro George Lucas is now right next to me instead of 20 feet away. I started this around 2:20 and it's now 3:45 which means Tai's flight to Rome is due to take off any minute.
So yeah, we hung out here for a bit -- this airport kinda blows on account of it has hardly changed a thing since the early 90s when the internet barely existed and this used to be my favorite airport ever. Literally, 70-80% of this place has not changed. I got to walk Tai through the tunnel where they shine the crazy lights and keep saying "Moving walkway is now ending, please watch your step, moving walkway is now ending, please watch your step". I've probably experienced taking someone through there for their 1st time 5-10 times in my life by now, and I always enjoy it. Tai was skeptical at first, and probably isn't overwhelmed in retrospect, but I still liked showing it to her (or whatever you want to call walking in front of her and hyping up the tunnel she was already going to have to walk through regardless). I know that our baby is going to see it 6-7 years from now, it probably won't have changed at all (they'll probably still be charging for crappy Boingo wifi and have zero electrical outlets) and be completely blown away like I was the first time I saw it when I was 10 or 11.
Yeah so then I got online, realized the work I thought I had 99% finished last night was still 97-98% finished but had two major bugs I hadn't noticed that rendered the output useless. I was able to think fast and get the necessary corrections in a reasonable amount of time, but unfortunately I hadn't communicated any of that to Tai and 8 or 9 minutes before I had it all wrapped up she was ready to go. Oh, I failed to mention that this screwed up airport actually makes you go back out by the ticketing counter if you're switching from United to Alitalia, which brings us back to the start of this post "Tai is past security and I'm not". So we had to go back out of security -- Tai was flustered because I told her I'd be done in 5 minutes and took 10-15. We took the little train over to Alitalia and stood outside the security line over by where I'm sitting right now, she got a little less mad and a lot more sad. I've been pretty sad the whole time, but I'm really glad that we got to spend this morning on that flight together and share a little bit of "Chicago" (airport). There was a very tearful and extended goodbye, and then Tai went through security and rounded a corner out of my line of vision and next time we see each other it'll be in New York!
I would say that I feel very excited for the chance to spend a lot of time in the office, hopefully tying up loose ends and making money so I have some room to breathe and interview around, I'm very happy for Tai that she gets to experience this trip to Morocco and do all these things that she's looked forward to since she took the job last year, and I'm very sad that we don't get to see each other for a little over 2 weeks. The one nice thing that puts it in perspective is that 2 weeks ago I was taking all my folders out of the filing cabinet and spreading them across my living room, making a huge mess two days before my parents came in, and that feels like yesterday. I hope that our time apart will pass by just as fast, with the caveat that I will be very disappointed in myself if it passes and I'm like "whoa, I didn't get anything done." That would be the worst. But if things go according to plan we should be enjoying Thanksgiving together with a little bit more security (get it, security -- the title of this article? double entendre, BAM!) and maybe if I'm lucky I'll have something lined up trading securities (triple enten---ok i'll stop) or who knows. Hopefully the next two weeks will be very full and rewarding and involve minimal discomfort and put us in a better place than where we started -- how's that. In the meantime, I miss my baby. Both of them.
There it is in a nutshell. The long-winded version (that's my disclaimer) is what follows. I am on my way to New York to stay with Tai's parents for 2 weeks waiting for Tai to come back from Morocco. In the meantime I should be going in for hopefully 10-12 hour days at the office where my checks come from. If that's how it works out it will be a substantial improvement from the hours I've been clocking the past couple months.
So I looked up Tai's flight a few nights ago (at first I thought she was leaving the country out of JFK, but it turned out she had United to Chicago before she was heading off to Rome, then Casablanca). I used to make it a point to stop through Chicago whenever I had a chance on a cross-country trip and catch up with a friend that I used to trade with. Last time I had a chance to do that was two summers ago, when I was still trying to figure out where I was going to work if I was moving to Boston (and Tai was getting ready to move to Seattle and start CY, for historical reference although I didn't know it at the time). So it's been a while. I figured "well ... one-way flights to New York are pretty cheap. One-way flights to Chicago are a little unreasonable, but if you get there it's only $69 on Jetblue to go the rest of the way". Then I sat on it, and the next day one-way flights to New York had gone up $200. Oops. Meanwhile, I noticed that if I booked an itinerary from Seattle, to Denver, to Chicago, to Milwaukee, I'd land in Chicago right smack in the middle of Tai's 4 hour layover, and it would be 200 dollars cheaper than booking a flight to Chicago. Yes, airlines are jackasses (for making this sort of thing a reality).
So I sat on that knowledge for 2 days, and last night Tai laid down at 1 am and I still didn't know if I was going to fly out at the same time as her or if I'd follow up several hours later. I also had a completely packed suitcase which would screw the whole plan up because you can't blow off the 3rd leg of your itinerary if your checked bag goes on to Milwaukee. Around 2:30 (her alarm was set to 3) I woke up from a light nap and thought, well, let's see if anything happened to fares in the last couple hours. The answer? Yes. Flights to New York had gotten more expensive. I should say "they came back down for a brief spell yesterday because US Airways is opportunistic, but by 2:30 am this morning, nearly all options had been limited to bad options." So I said well, let's just see how it goes if I unpack that suitcase into a bunch of carry-on sized bags.
By 3:10, Tai had hit her snooze alarm once and I had unloaded this large overpacked suitcase into a backpack, my gym bag, and my computer bag. I still don't understand the geometry of how that was possible. (ok I just took 30 minutes away from writing this and now there's a guy standing nearby who looks like George Lucas with a better pornstache) So once I realized it was possible to actually get on a plane, I broached the topic with Tai of not having booked anything, but maybe we could book something right now. She was not overly happy with my timing and surprise factor, but as the cab pulled up to take her to the airport, I hit submit twice and acquired a ticket for today to Seattle->Denver->Chicago->Milwaukee and tomorrow for Chicago->JFK.
So then we got to the airport, and she had to take her large box of rocks out of her suitcase to get it from 61 pounds down to 43 pounds. (very impressive rocks, if it was the same box we picked up yesterday) I thought about trying to crawl into the empty space left by the box and stow away to Morocco but that would have brought it back up to 290 pounds so we didn't. The person at the gate didn't say anything definitive about whether or not I could switch onto Tai's flight, so we went up through security and to the gates, and the guy seating passengers to Denver was like 'oh certainly -- heck you'll be doing us a favor, we overbooked by 10'. I didn't point out that 45 minutes earlier they had only been overbooked by 9 and that I had just finishing doing them an inconvenience, just nodded and said "oh yeah I love doing favors" and like that, I was on Tai's flight! Bear in mind, the going rate for a ticket on her flight was about 500 dollars and my 3-legged itinerary went for about 190. Love it.
So we got on the plane got seated together (another last minute win) and she put her little neck pillow in between our heads so that we could lean into each other and both rest on it while simultaneously supporting it, and I was honestly (honestly!) thinking "this is so perfect and completely romantic". It is NOT easy to get a comfortable sleeping position for you and a partner on a plane, and I think we pulled it off for a good hour or so before it was necessary to change positions.
Anyways, next thing we knew the plane was landing and I told Tai "the next time you do this you'll be landing in Rome" and she said "When in Rome...". *I said "Yes? Go on?" and she looked at me funny before explaining it's a common expression. I still don't quite understand what it means.
(everything after * is made-up/plagiarized, everything before it really happened)
Ok -- another 20 minute lapse there and bizarro George Lucas is now right next to me instead of 20 feet away. I started this around 2:20 and it's now 3:45 which means Tai's flight to Rome is due to take off any minute.
So yeah, we hung out here for a bit -- this airport kinda blows on account of it has hardly changed a thing since the early 90s when the internet barely existed and this used to be my favorite airport ever. Literally, 70-80% of this place has not changed. I got to walk Tai through the tunnel where they shine the crazy lights and keep saying "Moving walkway is now ending, please watch your step, moving walkway is now ending, please watch your step". I've probably experienced taking someone through there for their 1st time 5-10 times in my life by now, and I always enjoy it. Tai was skeptical at first, and probably isn't overwhelmed in retrospect, but I still liked showing it to her (or whatever you want to call walking in front of her and hyping up the tunnel she was already going to have to walk through regardless). I know that our baby is going to see it 6-7 years from now, it probably won't have changed at all (they'll probably still be charging for crappy Boingo wifi and have zero electrical outlets) and be completely blown away like I was the first time I saw it when I was 10 or 11.
Yeah so then I got online, realized the work I thought I had 99% finished last night was still 97-98% finished but had two major bugs I hadn't noticed that rendered the output useless. I was able to think fast and get the necessary corrections in a reasonable amount of time, but unfortunately I hadn't communicated any of that to Tai and 8 or 9 minutes before I had it all wrapped up she was ready to go. Oh, I failed to mention that this screwed up airport actually makes you go back out by the ticketing counter if you're switching from United to Alitalia, which brings us back to the start of this post "Tai is past security and I'm not". So we had to go back out of security -- Tai was flustered because I told her I'd be done in 5 minutes and took 10-15. We took the little train over to Alitalia and stood outside the security line over by where I'm sitting right now, she got a little less mad and a lot more sad. I've been pretty sad the whole time, but I'm really glad that we got to spend this morning on that flight together and share a little bit of "Chicago" (airport). There was a very tearful and extended goodbye, and then Tai went through security and rounded a corner out of my line of vision and next time we see each other it'll be in New York!
I would say that I feel very excited for the chance to spend a lot of time in the office, hopefully tying up loose ends and making money so I have some room to breathe and interview around, I'm very happy for Tai that she gets to experience this trip to Morocco and do all these things that she's looked forward to since she took the job last year, and I'm very sad that we don't get to see each other for a little over 2 weeks. The one nice thing that puts it in perspective is that 2 weeks ago I was taking all my folders out of the filing cabinet and spreading them across my living room, making a huge mess two days before my parents came in, and that feels like yesterday. I hope that our time apart will pass by just as fast, with the caveat that I will be very disappointed in myself if it passes and I'm like "whoa, I didn't get anything done." That would be the worst. But if things go according to plan we should be enjoying Thanksgiving together with a little bit more security (get it, security -- the title of this article? double entendre, BAM!) and maybe if I'm lucky I'll have something lined up trading securities (triple enten---ok i'll stop) or who knows. Hopefully the next two weeks will be very full and rewarding and involve minimal discomfort and put us in a better place than where we started -- how's that. In the meantime, I miss my baby. Both of them.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Day 23/24 - Rush and then rush again
I'm leaving in a few hours for the airport to eventually arrive in Casablanca, Morocco.
I refuse to give any more time to documenting all of the time I've recently and not-so-recently spent getting ready for this trip. So, just think of a lot of time and then throw it out your car window and watch it careen into plaid pantry where it gets a 28 pack of Milwaukee's Best and then gets in its own car after finishing off the case and fatally crashes into a vitamin supplement store.
The past few days I've been thinking, man... I feel fine, can this really be a successful pregnancy? I'm tempted to attribute the overwhelming neediness of the Morocco project to my non-sickness. How, you ask? Well, the other night I was laying in bed, thinking about being pregnant and how it was sucking at that moment, then I went on babycenter and was reading about other people being pregnant and I would alternate between the two. I realized that a good portion of time had gone by with no real progression of thought or action. I was just dwelling in the fertilized place. Then I realized the big question, the type of defining question that could certainly categorize you if you were an online quiz, the question that I was fearing asking myself....
When you are pregnant, do you think about the fact that you are pregnant close to 100% of the time?
Now, before you immediately answer that for yourself, consider this: "Think" is loosely defined, "think" is also "sense" and "consider" and on the flip side "think" is an all over "feeling" or "energy".
Because the question seems to really call out a woman who is, well, way too preoccupied with pregnancy, i.e. has little interest in pursuing life's other joys, I was certainly quick to answer negatively.
I definitely don't think about it all the time.
But the more I sat with the question (which is STILL thinking about being pregnant, mind you), I started to realize that it just kindof clouds your mind and body. The ultimate conclusion I came to was this: Being pregnant is like a cataract. I'm not even going to elaborate on this- there it is.
Well, I guess I'd better pack before I spend more time THINKING ABOUT BEING PREGNANT. I put my winter coat on today for the first time since a couple of weeks ago, no big deal. Yea, until I caught a strong wind and decided to zip up. On the first try I couldn't get the two sides to meet each other. I couldn't get the two sides to meet. Digest that, because obviously I've been digesting A LOT of it. When I did the tug tug and got the zipper started it was as though I was being put into an airtight chamber or food storage baggie. Yea, I got it on, but barely.
I refuse to give any more time to documenting all of the time I've recently and not-so-recently spent getting ready for this trip. So, just think of a lot of time and then throw it out your car window and watch it careen into plaid pantry where it gets a 28 pack of Milwaukee's Best and then gets in its own car after finishing off the case and fatally crashes into a vitamin supplement store.
The past few days I've been thinking, man... I feel fine, can this really be a successful pregnancy? I'm tempted to attribute the overwhelming neediness of the Morocco project to my non-sickness. How, you ask? Well, the other night I was laying in bed, thinking about being pregnant and how it was sucking at that moment, then I went on babycenter and was reading about other people being pregnant and I would alternate between the two. I realized that a good portion of time had gone by with no real progression of thought or action. I was just dwelling in the fertilized place. Then I realized the big question, the type of defining question that could certainly categorize you if you were an online quiz, the question that I was fearing asking myself....
When you are pregnant, do you think about the fact that you are pregnant close to 100% of the time?
Now, before you immediately answer that for yourself, consider this: "Think" is loosely defined, "think" is also "sense" and "consider" and on the flip side "think" is an all over "feeling" or "energy".
Because the question seems to really call out a woman who is, well, way too preoccupied with pregnancy, i.e. has little interest in pursuing life's other joys, I was certainly quick to answer negatively.
I definitely don't think about it all the time.
But the more I sat with the question (which is STILL thinking about being pregnant, mind you), I started to realize that it just kindof clouds your mind and body. The ultimate conclusion I came to was this: Being pregnant is like a cataract. I'm not even going to elaborate on this- there it is.
Well, I guess I'd better pack before I spend more time THINKING ABOUT BEING PREGNANT. I put my winter coat on today for the first time since a couple of weeks ago, no big deal. Yea, until I caught a strong wind and decided to zip up. On the first try I couldn't get the two sides to meet each other. I couldn't get the two sides to meet. Digest that, because obviously I've been digesting A LOT of it. When I did the tug tug and got the zipper started it was as though I was being put into an airtight chamber or food storage baggie. Yea, I got it on, but barely.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Day 20- Naps
Who knew it was daylight savings today? It felt like I won a prize this morning when John told me our computer clocks had been set back.
Last night was the party and John and I were Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley (respectively) from Kiss. This was fun for about 2 hours, then I put a paper towel down on my pillow and rested my head and realized how absurd it was that I couldn't just go to sleep. So we locked off the bathroom from the 40 or more guests that were at my house (most of which I had NO IDEA who they were) and took a shower. I still have black spray in my hair and John has the remnants of black around his eyelids making him look very hmmm, alice cooperish?
I found out this afternoon that my friend Jessica's mother passed away 2 nights ago. I want to be in NY so badly right now because I can only imagine how much pain she is feeling. I've talked to Ashley, but I haven't talked to Jess yet. This comes as such a surprise and I still don't know what happened.
This, obviously, has made me think about family moreso than usual today. How unexpected life is and the importance of nurturing your life with good "food"- love, family, appreciation, excitement, and patience. It's very important to me that my mother and father and brother are active in my childrens' lives but I just don't know how to create the ideal situation. I know that moving to NY would solve that, but it would also complicate my own happiness and I know I would have a severe sense of loss by leaving Seattle where I feel I belong. Mom and dad, won't you please move to Seattle? You have a little less than a year to get everything in order :) Then I'll have to start working the west coast golf course perspective on Tim.
Is this selfish? I don't know. I feel like Seattle offers so much more for everyone. I know this feeling of detachment from my family will grow as my hormones spike, and it will be a rather foreign and uncomfortable feeling as I've always felt quite independent. I really don't want to be without my mom and dad in this next chapter of life.
Well, now that I'm pretty solemn and confused from all of that, I guess I'll talk about something more concrete and smile-inducing. I'm officially 7 weeks and 2 days along. Here's what is going on:
How your baby's growing:The big news this week: Hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs — although they look more like paddles at this point than the tiny, pudgy extremities you're daydreaming about holding and tickling. Technically, your baby is still considered an embryo and has something of a small tail, which is an extension of her tailbone. The tail will disappear within a few weeks, but that's the only thing getting smaller. Your baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long, about the size of a blueberry.
If you could see inside your womb, you'd spot eyelid folds partially covering her peepers, which already have some color, as well as the tip of her nose and tiny veins beneath parchment-thin skin. Both hemispheres of your baby's brain are growing, and her liver is churning out red blood cells until her bone marrow forms and takes over this role. She also has an appendix and a pancreas, which will eventually produce the hormone insulin to aid in digestion. A loop in your baby's growing intestines is bulging into her umbilical cord, which now has distinct blood vessels to carry oxygen and nutrients to and from her tiny body.
It's so incredible to me that all of this is going on without any permission from me. It's just happening. Our baby is getting bigger and I'm just hanging out, writing in a blog. I guess it must be taxing because I'm ready to take a nap all the time. In fact, I just woke up from one, but since I gained an hour today I have NO guilt. I do have a ton of work to do by tomorrow and I'm going to funnel all my concentration into it.... I just don't know when that is going to start. :)
As a side note: everyday John becomes more of an incredible partner (more than I could've even requested) and I feel very confident in him as father, provider, and love of my life.
Last night was the party and John and I were Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley (respectively) from Kiss. This was fun for about 2 hours, then I put a paper towel down on my pillow and rested my head and realized how absurd it was that I couldn't just go to sleep. So we locked off the bathroom from the 40 or more guests that were at my house (most of which I had NO IDEA who they were) and took a shower. I still have black spray in my hair and John has the remnants of black around his eyelids making him look very hmmm, alice cooperish?
I found out this afternoon that my friend Jessica's mother passed away 2 nights ago. I want to be in NY so badly right now because I can only imagine how much pain she is feeling. I've talked to Ashley, but I haven't talked to Jess yet. This comes as such a surprise and I still don't know what happened.
This, obviously, has made me think about family moreso than usual today. How unexpected life is and the importance of nurturing your life with good "food"- love, family, appreciation, excitement, and patience. It's very important to me that my mother and father and brother are active in my childrens' lives but I just don't know how to create the ideal situation. I know that moving to NY would solve that, but it would also complicate my own happiness and I know I would have a severe sense of loss by leaving Seattle where I feel I belong. Mom and dad, won't you please move to Seattle? You have a little less than a year to get everything in order :) Then I'll have to start working the west coast golf course perspective on Tim.
Is this selfish? I don't know. I feel like Seattle offers so much more for everyone. I know this feeling of detachment from my family will grow as my hormones spike, and it will be a rather foreign and uncomfortable feeling as I've always felt quite independent. I really don't want to be without my mom and dad in this next chapter of life.
Well, now that I'm pretty solemn and confused from all of that, I guess I'll talk about something more concrete and smile-inducing. I'm officially 7 weeks and 2 days along. Here's what is going on:
How your baby's growing:The big news this week: Hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs — although they look more like paddles at this point than the tiny, pudgy extremities you're daydreaming about holding and tickling. Technically, your baby is still considered an embryo and has something of a small tail, which is an extension of her tailbone. The tail will disappear within a few weeks, but that's the only thing getting smaller. Your baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long, about the size of a blueberry.
If you could see inside your womb, you'd spot eyelid folds partially covering her peepers, which already have some color, as well as the tip of her nose and tiny veins beneath parchment-thin skin. Both hemispheres of your baby's brain are growing, and her liver is churning out red blood cells until her bone marrow forms and takes over this role. She also has an appendix and a pancreas, which will eventually produce the hormone insulin to aid in digestion. A loop in your baby's growing intestines is bulging into her umbilical cord, which now has distinct blood vessels to carry oxygen and nutrients to and from her tiny body.
It's so incredible to me that all of this is going on without any permission from me. It's just happening. Our baby is getting bigger and I'm just hanging out, writing in a blog. I guess it must be taxing because I'm ready to take a nap all the time. In fact, I just woke up from one, but since I gained an hour today I have NO guilt. I do have a ton of work to do by tomorrow and I'm going to funnel all my concentration into it.... I just don't know when that is going to start. :)
As a side note: everyday John becomes more of an incredible partner (more than I could've even requested) and I feel very confident in him as father, provider, and love of my life.
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