Last night I fell asleep at 6pm, woke up briefly from 9-9:30pm and woke up for good at 10am this morning. I think that is something to brag about. The drawback: I woke up with a horrific throbbing in my tooth that has been bothering me on and off for 2 months. I'd never had consistent pain, it has been mostly reactive pain from hot/cold things.
By John's urging, I called a dentist right next to his building and went in an hour later. He checked it out and said I had a pretty large cavity and that he would need to take an x-ray. This, of course, wasn't ideal but I also knew that the pain would only get worse if I didn't take action. So he took an x-ray and it turns out that the cavity was extremely close to my nerve; had I waited much longer I would've needed a root canal.
He numbed me and went to work. I was so tense through the whole procedure and when it was finally over I felt awful. My head was pounding and I was STARVING- I didn't eat before the appointment! So we went over to John's and I basically force-fed myself.
It is now 7pm and I am ready for bed. It's pathetic. I am really glad that my tooth is taken care of. One less thing to worry! So I think I really am going to go to bed. I have no idea how I am going to last through the Halloween party my house is throwing tomorrow night. I'll probably be passed out before the first guests even arrive. Good grief.
Friday, October 30, 2009
never quite as it seems cause you're a dream to me
tai woke up a few minutes ago and started in with "i was driving and our son was in the passenger seat next to me and he was 1 and a half and my mom was in the back seat" -- basically we've reached an understanding that the minute she wakes up from a sequence of dreams she is going to retell them all from start to finish and there's no ambiguity that she might be relating an anecdote of something that actually happened the previous day, these are all dreams -- so our son was in the passenger seat and he said that he hurt his knee and she asked if he wanted a kiss on the nose and he said yes, and the whole time she was doing the voice of our son the toddler and it was so unbelievably cute and now i can't wait until i get to meet our baby in one of MY dreams
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Day 17 - Prunes
Yep. I'm constipated. I told John about it this morning and he just came back from Safeway with 1) Bag of prunes 2) Large jug of prune juice 3)Trail mix with prunes in it and 4) Prune baby food.
I think he loves me and my colon a lot.
While we were in Vancouver, he found this and gave it to me:
Lots of deadlines as my trip to Morocco and Spain is exactly a week away. It's so incredible that this THING that I've been talking about and planning for so long is finally coming to fruition and in just 20 days it will be behind me. My itinerary is Nov.5-Nov 15 Moroccan Delegation with work (Center for Women & Democracy) and then Nov 15- Nov 20 traveling from central Morocco to Tangier, across the Strait of Gibraltar and exploration through Spain. Nov 20th I'll arrive at JFK and spend the next week with Mom and Tim and whoever else for Thanksgiving. By that time I'll be nearly 11 weeks pregnant.
Today I received some of my lab results back which puts me in good health. I haven't been feeling nauseous at all, possibly because I am taking B6 vitamins on and off. I'm still waiting on a few results and I'll be able to go to UW Med Center when I come back to get genetic testing done, free of charge, which is very cool. If anything abnormal comes back, then John will be tested to see if we're at high risk for any genetic diseases. Oh I also found out my blood type- O+! That's exciting to me!
I've been listening to the Grateful Dead all morning and been fairly productive with work stuff. Last Halloween party before I have children on Saturday. Ronda thinks I should dress up as "Worst Mother Ever" with beer and fake cigarette in hand, raggedy clothes and crazy hair. I'm a little bit too worried that one day this child will see the picture and either a) get really concerned or b) yell at me saying something to the effect of "SEE, EVEN THEN YOU KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO BE THE WORST MOTHER EVER!" So, I don't know about that.
I am also slowly sloughing off extra commitments that I know I won't want to deal with in 9 months. This feel pretty good- every thing I eliminate makes me feel liberated to do things that I actually enjoy doing OR things that I know are good for my health.
All in all, everything is fine today. I'm going to eat another serving of prunes and I'll probably have to put one of those Lampshade collars they have for itchy dogs around my waist to protect against any unexpected explosions.
I think he loves me and my colon a lot.
While we were in Vancouver, he found this and gave it to me:
Lots of deadlines as my trip to Morocco and Spain is exactly a week away. It's so incredible that this THING that I've been talking about and planning for so long is finally coming to fruition and in just 20 days it will be behind me. My itinerary is Nov.5-Nov 15 Moroccan Delegation with work (Center for Women & Democracy) and then Nov 15- Nov 20 traveling from central Morocco to Tangier, across the Strait of Gibraltar and exploration through Spain. Nov 20th I'll arrive at JFK and spend the next week with Mom and Tim and whoever else for Thanksgiving. By that time I'll be nearly 11 weeks pregnant.
Today I received some of my lab results back which puts me in good health. I haven't been feeling nauseous at all, possibly because I am taking B6 vitamins on and off. I'm still waiting on a few results and I'll be able to go to UW Med Center when I come back to get genetic testing done, free of charge, which is very cool. If anything abnormal comes back, then John will be tested to see if we're at high risk for any genetic diseases. Oh I also found out my blood type- O+! That's exciting to me!
I've been listening to the Grateful Dead all morning and been fairly productive with work stuff. Last Halloween party before I have children on Saturday. Ronda thinks I should dress up as "Worst Mother Ever" with beer and fake cigarette in hand, raggedy clothes and crazy hair. I'm a little bit too worried that one day this child will see the picture and either a) get really concerned or b) yell at me saying something to the effect of "SEE, EVEN THEN YOU KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO BE THE WORST MOTHER EVER!" So, I don't know about that.
I am also slowly sloughing off extra commitments that I know I won't want to deal with in 9 months. This feel pretty good- every thing I eliminate makes me feel liberated to do things that I actually enjoy doing OR things that I know are good for my health.
All in all, everything is fine today. I'm going to eat another serving of prunes and I'll probably have to put one of those Lampshade collars they have for itchy dogs around my waist to protect against any unexpected explosions.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
happy anniversary Tai
false alarm.
Tai asked me earlier "one year ago would you have guessed that you'd be right here?" My response "I had a notion."
Conveniently enough, I checked the logs after that mini-convo and it turns out that our gchat history begins on October 27th 2008. Prior to that I had kept her up late a couple of nights on Facebook chat and was getting really sore from the interface, so I finally convinced her to be my gchat buddy on 10/27. I wouldn't say that it got off to the most auspicious beginning, but I remember how after a few days my heart would start racing whenever I'd see tai.e.d... and I'd always engage her to talk about something. Eventually (I was staying with my parents in California for a few weeks at the time) we knew that there was some real excitement building up for us to see each other again, and I got on a train back up to Seattle, and I took a cab from the train station to where she was at (I think in capitol hill?) and went back and stayed with her, and it was really wonderful. A couple months later it was christmas, and aja set her graham cracker bridge on fire, and the next thing I knew we were boyfriend-girlfriend, and fastforward 10 more months here we are, 6 weeks and 4 days pregnant.
This is all very very exciting, and while I am on memory lane, I just have one more random thing to share, largely on my mind because I've been working on the same software today. I remember one time several months before that (yes, our history is a bit complicated) when I had my head on Tai's lap and was laying on the couch and had spent several hours trying to get this google spreadsheet code to work, and I think she was reaching the point of assuming I could never actually get it to work, and suddenly I ran my program and we were sitting there watching google docs and you could see the numbers populating into each cell, dropped in by my program instead of the user. In that moment a big smile opened up on Tai's face, pleased that I had accomplished what almost looked like magic, and I just had this strong feeling of accomplishment and pride in front of her and felt really supported by her, and I can't wait for a lifetime of that feeling.
Tai asked me earlier "one year ago would you have guessed that you'd be right here?" My response "I had a notion."
Conveniently enough, I checked the logs after that mini-convo and it turns out that our gchat history begins on October 27th 2008. Prior to that I had kept her up late a couple of nights on Facebook chat and was getting really sore from the interface, so I finally convinced her to be my gchat buddy on 10/27. I wouldn't say that it got off to the most auspicious beginning, but I remember how after a few days my heart would start racing whenever I'd see tai.e.d... and I'd always engage her to talk about something. Eventually (I was staying with my parents in California for a few weeks at the time) we knew that there was some real excitement building up for us to see each other again, and I got on a train back up to Seattle, and I took a cab from the train station to where she was at (I think in capitol hill?) and went back and stayed with her, and it was really wonderful. A couple months later it was christmas, and aja set her graham cracker bridge on fire, and the next thing I knew we were boyfriend-girlfriend, and fastforward 10 more months here we are, 6 weeks and 4 days pregnant.
This is all very very exciting, and while I am on memory lane, I just have one more random thing to share, largely on my mind because I've been working on the same software today. I remember one time several months before that (yes, our history is a bit complicated) when I had my head on Tai's lap and was laying on the couch and had spent several hours trying to get this google spreadsheet code to work, and I think she was reaching the point of assuming I could never actually get it to work, and suddenly I ran my program and we were sitting there watching google docs and you could see the numbers populating into each cell, dropped in by my program instead of the user. In that moment a big smile opened up on Tai's face, pleased that I had accomplished what almost looked like magic, and I just had this strong feeling of accomplishment and pride in front of her and felt really supported by her, and I can't wait for a lifetime of that feeling.
Day 15 - Probing
This morning was my first appointment with the nurse where she told me exactly what to do and when to do it, followed by a flu shot, 10 vials of blood being drawn, peeing (again) in a cup, and finally cancelling my Nov OB/Gyn appointment and getting to see a midwife after all of the tests.
The most exciting parts of my day: eating rice pudding and having a vaginal ultrasound and getting to see our baby (not at the same time, unfortunately).
Here he/she is:
The most exciting parts of my day: eating rice pudding and having a vaginal ultrasound and getting to see our baby (not at the same time, unfortunately).
Here he/she is:
Aja said it looks like a gummy bear.
The midwife said she could see its heartbeat (a light flutter on the screen) and John said "I can't see anything". It turns out I am 6 weeks 4 days, which makes my official due date June 18th 2010.
It was also not a big deal at all to get a pap smear/ probed. This was my first gynocologist appointment EVER (I know that's awful) and since the second appointment for 11:30 was made at 10:30, I didn't have any time to mull over the joys of vaginal exams and it wasn't a big deal at all.
My least favorite moment of today: Aja farting right next to me after I ate a cupcake and feeling an incredible urge to vomit all over the world.
That's it for now. Also I'm not feeling nauseous and I got antibiotics for UTI! VICTORY!
Monday, October 26, 2009
blog
I'm supposed to pick up Tai in 20 minutes so that sets a firm timeline for writing this, which is good.
It's been difficult for me to figure out how I'm supposed to write on this blog -- is it supposed to be about baby related stuff, is it supposed to be about how life has changed now that I know we're going to be parents, is it just supposed to be stream of consciousness and we can look back at this one day and be like "that's what we were like while you were in the womb."
I went with my parents to the flight museum on Saturday and there were 3 distinct lines of thought that came to me that seem worthy of writing about. The first thing that came to my mind was just that you can do so many more things when you know that they are actually possible. After I had thought about this for a while, I realized it didn't have anything to do with having a baby, and then my mind started trying to project it onto the parenting experience, then I thought "ok, I'm just being completely artificial. I already knew what I wanted to say, but if I'm going to blog about it, it should be about the baby, so I decided to make it about the baby." But really it was just a thought. So I'll just say a couple more things about it to elucidate what I was thinking about, and then not come back to it. Basically, (we were at the flight museum), there was a rapid burst of innovation in the field of building airplanes around 1910-1915. That makes you think "well if you can do all that in 5 years -- how come nothing happened in all the years that came before". Well, in short the answer is that people had to fight doubt, or for that matter doubters who would laugh at the guy building his "flying machine". Once the world knew a flying machine existed, it wasn't so crazy to be someone working on making ANOTHER flying machine. Because you knew failure was not inevitable.
Obviously that can be applied to parenting, but if I do it, it's completely an artificial effort. So I'll move on for now.
The third thing I thought about (skipping the second) was how my dad remarked "hey that keyboard has a built in credit card swiper". I thought that was just about the stupidest thing possible. Why would you like a keyboard more because it had a credit card swiper? In general what's the benefit of attaching a coffee grinder to an alarm clock, etc etc. Then I realized they already made fun of this on the PC vs Mac commercials (think John Hodgman with a web cam taped to his head). Moving on.
The second thought was the one thing that was actually relevant to this blog. (yikes, 14 minutes) I realized that it will be a very, very very long time before this child has the ability to look at me and Tai from an external perspective. Everything that we do, is going to be "the way things are" in this child's mind, probably up into high school if not college. That is just a really weird thought to me. At first I thought, "this is what the baby will think forever". Then I realized that I look at my parents and I definitely understand intuitively that this is NOT just "the way things are". It's the way they are, based on their life experiences and upbringing. Eventually, our baby will realize that about us. But it's just amazing to me to think that all of my eccentricities are just going to be something that the baby takes for granted probably up until like 2030.
Wow.
It's been difficult for me to figure out how I'm supposed to write on this blog -- is it supposed to be about baby related stuff, is it supposed to be about how life has changed now that I know we're going to be parents, is it just supposed to be stream of consciousness and we can look back at this one day and be like "that's what we were like while you were in the womb."
I went with my parents to the flight museum on Saturday and there were 3 distinct lines of thought that came to me that seem worthy of writing about. The first thing that came to my mind was just that you can do so many more things when you know that they are actually possible. After I had thought about this for a while, I realized it didn't have anything to do with having a baby, and then my mind started trying to project it onto the parenting experience, then I thought "ok, I'm just being completely artificial. I already knew what I wanted to say, but if I'm going to blog about it, it should be about the baby, so I decided to make it about the baby." But really it was just a thought. So I'll just say a couple more things about it to elucidate what I was thinking about, and then not come back to it. Basically, (we were at the flight museum), there was a rapid burst of innovation in the field of building airplanes around 1910-1915. That makes you think "well if you can do all that in 5 years -- how come nothing happened in all the years that came before". Well, in short the answer is that people had to fight doubt, or for that matter doubters who would laugh at the guy building his "flying machine". Once the world knew a flying machine existed, it wasn't so crazy to be someone working on making ANOTHER flying machine. Because you knew failure was not inevitable.
Obviously that can be applied to parenting, but if I do it, it's completely an artificial effort. So I'll move on for now.
The third thing I thought about (skipping the second) was how my dad remarked "hey that keyboard has a built in credit card swiper". I thought that was just about the stupidest thing possible. Why would you like a keyboard more because it had a credit card swiper? In general what's the benefit of attaching a coffee grinder to an alarm clock, etc etc. Then I realized they already made fun of this on the PC vs Mac commercials (think John Hodgman with a web cam taped to his head). Moving on.
The second thought was the one thing that was actually relevant to this blog. (yikes, 14 minutes) I realized that it will be a very, very very long time before this child has the ability to look at me and Tai from an external perspective. Everything that we do, is going to be "the way things are" in this child's mind, probably up into high school if not college. That is just a really weird thought to me. At first I thought, "this is what the baby will think forever". Then I realized that I look at my parents and I definitely understand intuitively that this is NOT just "the way things are". It's the way they are, based on their life experiences and upbringing. Eventually, our baby will realize that about us. But it's just amazing to me to think that all of my eccentricities are just going to be something that the baby takes for granted probably up until like 2030.
Wow.
Day 14- Barely Day 14
I'm laying awake in bed at 4:18am with Urinary tract issues and nausea.
Toodles!
Toodles!
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